Have you ever seen any real movies?

I giggled when I read this piece of silliness tonight, and giggled so hard I was forced to read it aloud to T. Note this passage in particular:

Because of the feminist movement, boys aren’t allowed to be boys - society has fenced them in, corralled their adventurous enthusiasm in the name of sexual equality. The end product is pantywaist pushovers who will cry during “Steel Magnolias” and urinate sitting down.

And this one:

If a woman hangs out with this kind of girly-man routinely, it’s only because she wants to share his wardrobe and his non-fat caramel macchiato.

And finally:

When did men in America go from being masculine steak-eating, plaid shirt wearing, Old Spice smelling, cigar smoking cowboys who like football, hunting, and Clint Eastwood movies to skinny jean wearing, satchel carrying, pierced ear metrosexuals who like chick flicks, “The View,” and Bath & Bodyworks?

Actual conversation:

T: Huh. Well, I hate my cappuccino, loathe Bath & Bodyworks and have never cried in a film in my life and you know what a huge pantywaist I am.

Jen: You hate Bath & Bodyworks?

T: No, dork. I love Bath & Bodyworks. I was kidding.

Jen: Duh, I know. I was flicking you shit. But it's a real shame she equates having feelings with being a girly-man. Wait. What films have you ever cried in?

T: Rambo II.

Jen [incredulous stare]: Try again.

T: But it was really, really sad when she died!

Jen: Try again.

T: Well, I teared up during Rocky III when Mickey died.

Jen: You're not helping.

T: Okay. Where the Red Fern Grows.

Jen: That's better. Pantywaist.*


*Okay, I didn't say that. I wished I had after, though.